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There Will Be Ballads

by Cactus Warmuth

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1.
Cataracts ail me in my old age I thought I saw you drowning in the water But there’s not a drop not an aqueduct So get some shade from the inferno When I was young I used to claim I wanted no wife I wanted no children But as I die in mid-July My burning eyes see what I couldn’t
2.
Damo's Ode 02:13
Fell in love with a boy back when I was 30 and he was 28 and from out of state Yeah fuck the States I mean he was from another place he had lots of tattoos one was of a kangaroo Said his name was Damo and my eyes were pretty but they’re just gray and bloodshot and darting Damo, I love you His hair was blonde he was a con man he sold timeshares by the beach somewhere up in Queensland But we lived in Adelaide where I got some accolades I found The Story of the Kelly Gang and used a lotta Aussie slang Recovered those lost reels in the arvo by a bottle-o gave them a squiz and went back to me boyfriend Damo, I love you
3.
Talons 01:51
He met you On the 31st The sky was crimson The day it felt cursed Talked about everything from blood to birds Wingspan and talons and how it hurt Scotch tape won’t fix you Lucifer picks you He’s not real Or at least he is dead But he’s built a nest Right inside your skull Shake him out and crack the eggs Baby satans down your legs Fuck the flock it’s raining shit Clean your windshield save the world
4.
She is Hers 01:58
Wonder way out west Chrysanthemum on her chest From Roswell is a pretty gal She’s a phenom she’s a pal Period she punctuates With her fav feline roommate Hand me a butterfly I think you’re a desert sky From Roswell is a pretty girl Used to dance ya used to twirl Pass her a guitar along With a pick she’ll play this song
5.
T or C 00:59
Some may say it's a shame that we ever even spoke And some would be me down in T or C you hated your fucking world When we embraced I burned down the place for I'm engulfed in flames But you're not to blame and nor am I it's all just on Satan
6.
Feeling I get when we’re apart Is almost as bad as when we’re together The knot it my stomach gnaws inside I’m thinking that it’s alive Notes of Fahey warned me This was all a fantasy The knot turns into a creature Guess I’ll be an English teacher What do we do with our worthless time It ain’t much but suppose it’s mine Notes of Fahey warned me This was all a fantasy the creature has chewed on out Thanks for all your precious doubt Now it attacks with fear Goodbye so long my dear Notes of Fahey warned me This was all a fantasy
7.
Turn into a man of metal Your spine is made of gears Limb-lengthen so you can dunk Break a leg you are a punk
8.
Sitting in the fire the flames begin to hurt So do the cuts and scrapes and bruises all over She self harms and her arms are a labyrinth Out of the psych ward and into the mountains I met her at the crest at 2 in the morning I asked her how she was she said batshit crazy Her last friend died from a fistful of fentanyl So even though I can’t move things aren’t bad at all
9.
Ate 01:29
The first was a crazy and I ain’t crying The second got me drunk Or I did it to myself The third was nice But died in a plane crash The fourth was cruel Told me I was a toolbox The fifth was the one And that thought was the problem The sixth changed things But just for one night The seventh’s real chill We talk sometimes But you’re number eight So let’s be mates
10.
Shepherd boy Got a bite Screams and stomps But won't fight Crying wolf again Big bad scare I know you care Big bad scare When isn't there Crying wolf again
11.
Visit 01:11
It’s really fucked up when the dead show up and say hi in your dreams They drive all the way from death to see you your tears come down in streams They speak and smile and sing and stagger and shake like they’re sick And when you wake up and try to go back nothing’ll do the trick You’re gone away Woke up crying today Nothing I do Will ever bring you back One last time I’ll say goodbye while I can I won’t ever get to see you again
12.
Loss 02:52
Whisper into my ear Says you have no pulse You were a gladiator No man was greater I can still hear your laugh Echoes through the terminal Can’t miss your flight There is no afterlife You were Buzz Lightyear I’m the worrying cowboy The newspaper stack Says we want you back No more race cars Last lap for a favorite cat Kept a wad of cash Now you’re just ash I will remember you I will remember you I will remember you I will remember you
13.
Coming Clean 01:42
Well I’m a big-lying two-timing son of a bitch You ain’t even seen the worst of it Went into a bank and they told me son You're flat broke unless you got a gun At the bar I got me an open tab And I ain’t paying till I get grabbed The women and men and enbys Put me in quite the frenzy I’m big-lying two-timing Fence-climbing fake-dying Petty-criming cheap-rhyming son of a Jewess In counties across the southwest many Marshalls made slick arrests But I always manage to slip on by I’m a shapeshifting quick-drifting sort of a guy So baby if I hurt you I wantchu to know I’m just one of those big bozos And should you put a bounty on my head There’s no one I’d rather have make me dead Yeah I’m big-lying two-timing Fence-climbing fake-dying Petty-criming cheap-rhyming son of a great mom Ooh-Ooh (4x) When the night comes to a close I got lots of people lots of folks Valley cares for me like a nursery Ramble from cowboy bar to grandma’s chicken soup

about

Dedicated to my late grandfather.

credits

released June 3, 2022

Cover art - Ed Friedland, Sarah Friedland

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about

Cactus Warmuth Albuquerque, New Mexico

A roadrunnerologist by trade, Cactus Warmuth has recorded numerous sides for the Spaghetti West label on 78 rpm records (all of which are rumored to have been destroyed). Here are there digital transfers.

See reviews:

alibi.com/music/58470/Sonic-Reducer-Blitzar-Peaceful-Dissident-Cactus.html

alibi.com/music/59278/Sonic-Reducer-A-New-Leaf-Songs-for-the-Strange-a.html
... more

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